5 Mental Health tips for the Holidays
The Holiday season has started🎄 No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year you may be feeling a mix of emotions (especially with this being another year influenced by the pandemic).
Maybe you are feeling excitement and hope at the thought of being able to celebrate with your family, and fear that it may be canceled again. Maybe you’re angry at everything being about this pandemic. Maybe you’re feeling some anxiety around the idea of having to spend time around groups of people again and longing for another shut down so you’re not being called rude for wanting to sit out. Or maybe you’re feeling grief for those who will not be at the table this year. That first year is always the hardest. Maybe it feels like there is a storm going on inside and you’re having a hard time piecing out what you’re experiencing.
Perhaps you’re finding it hard to face the holidays because of issues in the past with family members, concerns around the health and wellness of those around you, or you just enjoy a more intimate holiday. In reading this post, I hope you’re willing to accept help for yourself or a loved one to navigate feelings at this time of year. These tips may help.
Tip #1: have a crisis line phone number nearby
Crisis lines are available to be a non-judgmental voice to engage with. This help resource can get you through that period of being overwhelmed. Having the phone number accessible increases your ability to access these services so that if an emotion goes beyond the point that we are capable of working with you are supported and safe. Some good numbers for the area are:
Belleville Crisis Intervention (Persons age +16) 1-888-757-7766
Children’s Mental Health Services (Persons age 0-18) 1-844-462-2647
Crisis Services of Canada (Suicide Hotline) 1-833-456-4566
Even though there is no shame or judgement involved in calling these numbers, having the phone number under a pseudonym (Like Bob or Cheryl) or a short hand (Like Crisis, or Help) can be more acceptable.
Tip #2: talk, write, or draw
Talking (even to yourself), writing, or drawing out what you’re feeling, and thinking can be helpful in processing emotions and identifying what’s going on. You must name it to tame it! Sometimes when we keep the thoughts and emotions inside, they fester. Finding ways to express these emotions allows us to understand and face them. Our emotions and thoughts often influence one another, and can often be purposeful, so let’s not avoid them. Talk to someone you feel safe with. There is no “should” or “shouldn’t” when it comes to our emotions; but there is often a reason why we are feeling something, how we are feeling/thinking, and what we can do with that feeling.
Tip #3: set limits
Setting limits around how much money you’re going to spend, time you’re willing to be at events, what projects at work you will start and even when your holiday season needs to end, is important. Sometimes we can feel like the holidays stretch on forever or that we don’t have time for other things. This can raise our stress levels and decrease our enjoyment. Setting limits is one of the biggest things that you can do to manage this. And remember that you have valid reasons for setting your limits, but others have their reasons so we need to respect them. Your limits are to protect you (and your family). While you cannot choose how others respond, remind yourself why the limits you choose are important.
Tip #4: be flexible with plans
Everyone may be in different mental spaces and stages for gatherings. By accepting flexibility over the holidays, traditions we valued won’t leave us feeling worse when they do not go as planned. When we let go of the things that we think “should'' happen, we open up to what could happen.
Tip #5: try to do your favourite holiday activities
With the previous tips in mind, think about your favourite holiday activity. Is there a part of the holiday meal you like more than others, is there an activity, movie, or game you always do this time of year? Is there someone who will do this with you or is there a way that you can do this by yourself? By finding a way to still do your favourite things, you can bring a bit of happiness back into your year. A bit of fun can go a long way to balancing the stress of the holidays.
The holidays can be quite difficult to navigate. Take some time to recognize and then focus on the thoughts and feelings that we need to change.
It's okay to accept help to sort this all out. Please reach out to meet with our counsellors, we are here for you.
Alysha Plaggemeier
(Psychotherapy/Counselling)